Washington’s Top Cheap Eats, Northern Virginia’s Culinary Gems, Best Restaurants of Metro DC may be some of the titles you have read before reading the reviews for the following restaurants. Well, I am here to tell you… NOT!

 

My husband Murat, who does the food reviews for the magazine goes into serious research mode and eating adventures whenever he is getting ready for the next issue. Today was one of those days. He had a full list of restaurants in hand and was heading out the door. I asked to join him and he said… ok, if you must. You see he doesn’t like to go with me; I may skew his opinion or review.

Today’s agenda: Arlington. We head first to Atilla’s Turkish Restaurant on 2705 Columbia Pike. Judging a book by its cover, a practice I have perfected by now, I don’t even get out of the car. What a dump. There is a grocery store next door that belongs to them also. The parking lot attendant died 20 years ago. Scary. 5 minutes doesn’t pass, Murat comes running waving let’s go. We leave without further discussion. They are after all Turkish and we don’t want to say anything bad about them.

Next, we head down the road to Weenie Beenie on 2680 Shirlington Rd. What the on earth is that! Dime street (for those of you unfamiliar, it is the street people go to buy illegal drugs)? Illegal employee pick up corner? I am not sure. Behind the insanely unsafe looking corner is the freestanding hot dog stand other publications rave about. I would not even slow down for this one. Keep driving and don’t even talk to me.

 

We make a right and head down to the more popular part of Arlington to eat at an Austrian and Italian eatery called Café Tirolo on 4001 N. Fairfax Rd. Look I have nothing against cheap eateries, but when the menu is so big, when there is a wall bigger than the wall of China hiding the kitchen, we move on. You see I expected at least one chef with European background. They were all Asian in the kitchen. I lived in LA for years; I am very familiar with Chinese Kosher food and Atlanta for Indian Chinese food, but Chinese Austrian and Italian food?

 

We leave and walk down the street, starving at this point and find Café Amity. Turkish again but also café like, with sandwiches, salads and Illy coffee. How bad can it be? We order traditional Turkish Doner and Kofte Sandwiches. We wait while sipping on our D. Cokes. The food arrives. My sandwich is HORRIFIC. The meatballs were the size, shape and color of you know what. Murat’s Doner was overcooked, over killed, and over done. Horrible. We leave. As we pay, we tell the guy behind the register we took one bite, are not eating and leaving because it all sucked! He says nothing and takes our money. Really? Yes.

 

After all of this, we are starving and I suggest we go to McLean to Amoos for some good Persian Chelo Kebab. For that review, you have to read the upcoming Fall issue.

 

So why am I telling you all of this? The prior mentioned eateries could indeed have fantastic food. But for most moms, actually for me, I like to dine in clean, safe and delicious eateries. I am not Andrew Zimmern and will not eat at any cost. In our magazine, food taste is not the only requirement to get a 5 star or even a printed review. The location must be mom friendly! Can be a dive, but must be safe. The review must be good, hence the name “eat our words”, not don’t eat our words. So Murat will not tell you what we went through today, but I thought I would to explain what goes into making it in our magazine.