I was telling someone recently that one of the perks − yes, I try to look at the glass half full − of being laid off in this tough economy is learning to reinvent myself. Although I don’t have the luxury of manicures and frivolous purchases since tightening my budget, I also don’t have to succumb to long commutes, overpriced gas, office politics and feeling the need to clean out the, ew, stinky office refrigerator. With the holidays looming before us, many use this time of year to escape from their cubbies for a week or two, feeling the need to cram, plot, plan and pursue memorable vacations to fill their scrapbooks with the gritting, forced smiles of children and spouses who sometime just want to stay home in their jammies and play with their new toys. The thought of just getting away from the office − and maybe home − for a short time is usually looming on your bucket list, and sometimes you just need to forget about everyone else’s agenda and follow your own path.

My holiday tip for you is to take a vocation, not a vacation. At www.vocationvacations.com, one can take a test ride and experience a few days discovering that one career you’ve always dreamed about. You can escape the relentless staff meetings, water cooler gossip and clock watching in exchange for testing the waters of a new career, with no strings attached and no employment contracts to sign.

Tired of the city, the smog and the rat race? Become a dude rancher, dudes and dudettes. For the price of that new I-Mac you’ve been salivating over, you can head west, young lady, and don a pair of cowboy boots with spurs (don’t forget to pack band-aids) and spend three days rustling cattle, mending real fences, and enjoying stunning, panoramic views as you hum “America the Beautiful” and eat weenies ‘n beans over an open fire.

Snakes and sagebrush not your thing? Maybe the open water is calling you. Channel (excuse the pun) the Huck Finn in you and cruise the Mississippi for three days as a river boat pilot. Learn how to “read the river” as you watch for snags and sandbars. Regale in riverboat traditions, history, lingo and terminology. That way, the next time you need the IT guy, just say, “Hey, can you come to my cuddy cabin and check my system’s rail rollers, line haulers and hook separators?” Then try not to gloat when you watch his face contort.

Think that spa owner down the street has a plush job and only worries about mini-massages and makeup? Learn the soup-to-nuts details of starting a spa business, the financial requirements, licensing, and the realities of business development as you travel to Texas and enjoy two days of one-on-one mentorship at a beautiful, 6,400 square foot facility (everything’s big in Texas, hon) complete with fountains, food and facials.

Those chocolates on your co-workers desk are calling your name. Go ahead, imbibe to your heart’s content, and tell her you’re doing research for an upcoming mentorship you are going to enjoy when you spend two days in San Diego learning how to be a chocolatier. Learn how to temper, mix and dip − I know that sounds like a pole-dancing class but, trust me, European truffles never looked so sexy. Learn about packaging and creating presentations of the sweet, tempting confections. You’ll never look at another M&M the same way.

Not only are these “vocation” vacations the perfect way to treat yourself, but they make great gift s as well. Gift certificates are available if your man has always wanted to be a sports broadcaster or just wants to get away and learn to be a fly fisherman.

From alpaca ranchers to yoga instructors, the opportunities are endless. Now if you’ll forgive me, I’m going off to learn to be a pizza shop owner. Hold the anchovies. I don’t want to stink up the refrigerator.

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CATHERINE DECENZO
Catherine DECENZO has recently rejoined the ranks of the employed and works at The Center for Public Safety Excellence. She's a contributing writer to I AM Modern and Modern DC Business, and pens a blog at catclause.wordpress.com.