Our first article on this subject ruffled quite a few feathers. Let's see if we can ruffle some more.

It's a myth. I'm certain of it. At least as certain as an outsider can be. After months of emails, phone calls, party invitations, and lunch appointments—oh, and a few gentle, but nevertheless certain, solicitations—I am quite convinced that there's no truth to the white rock myth. Why, you ask?

For starters, most swingers are very private about their choice to be “in the lifestyle.” And white rocks adorning their lawns would be, well, less than discreet. Swingers cite many reasons for the vigilant manner in which they guard their practice. It's taboo. They might lose their security clearance. Or they'd rather avoid the scorn from family and friends. Speaking of friends, swingers have two primary types: “horizontal friends” and “vertical friends.” Vertical friends are also referred to as “vanilla friends,” and I'm guessing you can discern which is which. For the sake of both clarity and another morsel of swinger lingo, however, it’s worth noting that swingers “play” with their horizontal friends. They play with others also, but horizontal friends are those partners who ultimately become friends. It's kind of like book club, I guess—you're friendly with everyone, but you might only befriend some of the girls.

I was surprised by the swingers I interviewed. They seemed [oddly] normal. They ranged from professional to blue collar, and more often than not, they'd been married—and decidedly happy together—for a decade or more. They were often parents, and I didn't speak with a single swinging parent who had told their child that they were in the lifestyle. The age range is broad, and most swinging couples readily assert that they swing for the benefit of their own relationship. One couple even likened their swinging partners to toys. When I batted my wide eyes at the boldness of the statement, I was met with gazes that clearly signaled, “What…?”

If your “why?” is still lingering, join my club. But I can tell you—with certainty—that swingers have a variety of reasons for engaging in the lifestyle. And in that singular way, I'd say swinging is like most other hobbies. Lest you're shaking your head at that idea, ponder this. In one interview, a couple suggested that they wanted to meet me so that I could see that “swingers are normal” and that they’re “not hurting anyone.” After I politely thanked them for their time, I told them that they indeed seemed normal, but that I was troubled with the suggestion that swinging doesn't actually hurt anyone. After all, what about their children? And divorce . . . surely, it's more prevalent among those in the lifestyle, I said. And what about traditional marital notions of fidelity, love, and respect? They responded without even a pause and suggested something I'd already heard from other swingers. Swinging enriches their sexual and emotional connection, it's fun for them as a couple, and they're more happily married as a result of swinging. That, they suggested, would help, not hurt, their children. Oh, and they even added that the divorce rate among their vertical acquaintances was no doubt higher than the divorce rate among swingers that they know.

Given the many questions I've fielded about swinging, I'm keenly aware of the curiosity surrounding this taboo practice. As such, here are some straggling tidbits. It seems that while many couples begin swinging after a suggestion by the husband, it's generally a mutual choice to pursue the lifestyle for any length of time. Play can happen in as many ways as you can imagine. Sometimes couples swap, and on other occasions, several couples play simultaneously. Swingers meet online and through other couples. And they use “rules of engagement” that are as varied as the people in the lifestyle. Indeed, some couples require that play take place in one room, some engage in bisexual play, and some are only interested in straight play. The only sure thing among swingers is that there are no assumptions. And they’re emphatic that open, easy communication means more fun for everyone.

But make no mistake about it. They're not about to stop and they’re having fun. At least their idea of fun. And while I suspect the swinging community would love for swinging to be accepted as a mainstream practice, I’ve no doubt that they'll continue to play. And they’ll do so without our approval.

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LEIGH MACDONALD is an attorney and former law professor, but nowadays, she's a freelance writer and Community Content Producer for WUSA9.com. She also doles out daily shoe and fashion advice at NiceShoesNoDrama.com. Leigh loves beautiful shoes, white chocolate, authentic smiles, and smart girlfriends. She lives in Leesburg, VA, with her husband and two children.