If the weather predictions are right, many of us in the DC area may find that our romantic plans for dinner and dancing or a mini-getaway this weekend are not going to happen. And after days stuck at home, many of you may not be feeling very lovey-dovey anyway. So what’s a couple to do? Is there any way to keep cabin fever from creating domestic discord? One cure may be to create a romantic retreat in your own home. I know you’re sick of being there and the kids are trailing behind you looking for things to do but it is possible to carve out a little romance in your house with just a little creativity.
The Dining Room
This often unused part of the house is a great place for a romantic dinner (or breakfast, whichever the kids will let you enjoy in peace). On your next bread and milk run stop by the grocery store floral department. I guarantee that’s the one area of the store that is probably not dealing with bare shelves. Pick up a couple of pretty bouquets and the fixings of a favorite meal. When you get home go ahead and gather all the candles you’ve put around the house and put them to use. Whip up a favorite dish or just order a pizza. Add a favorite CD and voilà a romantic dinner right at home.
The Living Room/Family Room
Depending on the age of your kids this room may be a catchall for toys and games or a jungle of video game wires; not to mention the books, magazines, papers, and general clutter that invades most of our lives. If you’re lucky enough to have another room at home to stash all those distractions then the living room is a great place to unwind. Relive those evenings of dinner and a movie with your latest Netflix pick or create a romantic picnic on the floor (the kids might want to join you in that one). Forts are not just for kids either. I recently saw a picture on Twitter of a very romantic fort for 2, complete with twinkling Christmas lights and a favorite bottle of wine inside. Remember romance isn’t all about seduction, it can be playful and fun too.
The Bedroom
We hope your bedroom is already a romantic retreat but unfortunately for most people it’s not. We take our laptops to bed and watch the 11 o’clock news or fold piles of laundry on the floor. One of the first things I advise couples struggling with intimacy issues (or sleep issues) to do is remove everything from the bedroom that is not about rest, relaxation, or love. Just a few minutes de-cluttering and bringing in some restful accessories can make a huge difference. Change your sheets (for extra warmth and freshness tumble the new ones in the dryer first), bring those candles up from the dining room, and turn on some music. It’s amazing how quickly you can transform a busy bedroom into a relaxing retreat which is often all you need to turn up the romance.
A Final Word on Romance
Don’t think that romance is only for those of us moms in a couple. Romance is about treating someone special and showering them with gestures of love. Single moms deserve romance and love just as much (maybe more) than the rest of us and taking time out to show yourself love is an important lesson for your children to see. The best love affair is the one you can have with yourself so go ahead and get romantic whether you are home alone or with someone special.
Esther Boykin is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the co-owner of Group Therapy Associates, a psychotherapy practice in Haymarket. She specializes in working with couples and adolescents around relationship issues and trauma. She welcomes reader’s comments and questions and can reached at http://www.grouptherapyassociates.org or by calling 703-644-8041.
written by Devonne , February 13, 2010
written by Esther , February 12, 2010
You can see a picture of the fort I mention here- http://bit.ly/9OBeJX 
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Now that sounds like the making of a FABULOUS Valentines Day. Enjoy