Q: I am married over 10 years now. The business of life has allowed my marriage to become boring and routine. How do I get back to dating my husband again? Do you have any suggestions? Looking for romance and some dance back in the everyday. Thanks for your help.
A: Dear Katza,
Thank you for your question! It's important for you to know that you are hardly alone! Many couples feel that their relationship has been reduced to something that feels more like roommates than the passionate couple of your early courtship.

The good news is that you are feeling aware of this, and are willing to do something to spice things up again! There are lots of little things you can do to put romance back into your life and make it sizzle! It's also good to know that while men tend to use sex to stay connected in a relationship, women need to feel emotionally connected to their partners before they can become aroused and invite intimacy into the  bedroom. So it's very important to communicate with your partner throughout the day; that 'connection' is a powerful aphrodisiac!

Variety is the spice of life, and while I'm not suggesting you start swinging from the chandelier,  participating in a new activity can be exciting. Take a short trip to a museum, try a new sport, ride a
motorcycle. That adrenaline rush can carry over into the bedroom. And while it may sound cliched, having sex in a different room can help you break out of a sexual rut.

If you feel that one of you is always the one to initiate sex and always takes the lead, try the 'surrender date'. This works best when the more dominate partner does the surrendering. The surrender-date-planner makes all the decisions- and not just dinner and a movie! He or she picks out the other person's clothing (from underwear to jewelry), tells him or her wht time to be ready, and takes care of all the money and transportation.

The surrendering partner agrees to completely put themselves in their planner's hands. This requires and open mind from both partners.

The result can be that you end up discovering parts of yourselves you never knew existed. It may feel awkward at first, but challenging yourselves to break out of your routine can be a huge step toward
rekindling the passion.

Good luck!
Amy Barraj