When it comes to encouraging your child to work harder and do better, it can sometimes be difficult to find the right words and the right approach. The praise part is generally easy enough; most parents have little difficulty finding the words to tell a child when they are doing well. When there is an area that could use some improvement, it becomes a little more difficult. How do you point out what your child needs to work on without sounding critical? There is a simple method, and it’s known as PCP: Praise, Challenge, Praise.

The 3 simple steps
Using Praise, Challenge, Praise is simple. The concept is to surround the gentle encouragement with praise. To start, all you need to do is find something the child is doing very well, and praise him or her for it. Then, suggest an area that might need a little work. Finally, turn once again to praise when they show effort and improvement in that area. It’s really that simple, and it will let you child know that you are proud of them not just for the things they are already good at, but also for the effort they put into improving.

When can it be used?
The Praise, Challenge, Praise method works effectively in just about any parenting situation, from encouraging appropriate behavior to getting homework and chores done on time. It’s the perfect method for encouraging improvement in school work as well as for learning skills such as riding a bike. It’s a versatile and universal method of encouraging a child that you can use whenever you would like to push your child to try a little harder, or show your child where they need a little extra effort. It’s gentle, effective, and can be used in endless variations.

Examples of using PCP with your child
Praise, Challenge, Praise follows the same format every time you use it, but the words can be adapted to fit your particular situation. For example, if you have a child who is trying to learn a particular skill, such as tying their shoes, you can put PCP to work. Start with a praise statement, pointing out something the child has done well: “Well done, you got your shoes on the right feet!” Follow it up with the challenge statement: “Now let’s work on getting those laces tied!” And finally, another praise statement that notes the improvement the child is making towards the challenge: “You are getting really good at tying a bow in your laces!” It’s that simple.

But PCP isn’t just for the straightforward tasks every child must learn. It also works effectively for more abstract concepts, including behavior. If you have a child who often whines to get what he or she wants, you can use PCP to encourage the child to speak more appropriately. Here is a simple example of how you might approach the problem. First, praise your child for something they did well, without whining: “You asked for a drink of milk so politely!” Next, challenge your child to work on reducing the whining: “Let’s work on asking for help with your breakfast nicely and without whining.” And when you see an improvement, follow up with the final statement of praise: “You are really speaking so politely today!”

The simple fact is that children love to hear praise, especially from parents and other people they look up to and admire. Facing the many challenges of childhood can be difficult, from all of the skills they are expected to learn to all of the behavioral rules they must master. Surrounding the challenges with praise not only provides a gentle approach, but it also provides the impetus to work harder and succeed: your child wants to hear the praise you offer when they have overcome a challenge. The PCP method allows your child to develop a sense of self-confidence and pride in their accomplishments, and allows you to encourage without being critical.

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JOHN CASSIDY is the founder of TopKick Martial Arts which is a family martial arts and fitness center with locations in Loudoun and Fairfax Counties. Find out more about TopKick at www.topkickonline.com. He resides in Fairfax with his wife and three children. This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it