Setback

I suppose it was bound to happen, but I have taken a HUGE setback in my lifestyle change. We went away this weekend (my birthday weekend) to Massanutten for a skiing vacation. Now I don’t ski/skate or anything that might involve using an extremely bad knee problem I have. So I sat and watched. And enjoyed a couple of drinks and then a nice meal at a buffet. I ate slowly and on a small plate and then went back for another small plate. And another drink and dessert and I did everything wrong. I know, I know, you are all sitting there telling me not to be so hard on myself, but I did fail. I lost nothing, nada, not an ounce. In fact, I put on two pounds bringing my total for this new month to nothing. A wash.

The funny thing is that I was going to write about fear of success, now I guess I’ve proven the point I was going to make. I was going to talk about how previously I did a great job sabotaging my successes in losing weight by going back to leading the life that was comfortable—eating what I wanted and when I wanted and as much as I wanted.

It’s just NOT GOOD ENOUGH for me to give up now. I loved the feeling of being in control. I loved that my pants felt loose. I liked it that people told me I looked good. I enjoyed pushing away my plate. I liked saying no. No, to desserts and huge meals and empty calories.

I need to get back to YES. Yes, to exercising daily. Yes, to writing down what I ate and sharing it with someone. Yes, to accepting that it’s not easy but that it is do-able.

I am afraid.

I guess it is kind of like mountain climbing. My choices are very clear. I will either go back down the mountain and always look up wishing I was up there or I can just accept that I fell down a bit, but I’m no longer at the bottom and just need to continue my climb..

I’ll let you know how it goes on Wednesday.

Val

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