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Dec 03rd
Home Lose Weight w/Val No Matter How You Look

No Matter How You Look

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Picture this: I’m in Orlando. It’s 2:00PM, 86 degrees, the sun is shining and I have about 3 hours before I have anything to do. I think, “how nice it would be to sit by the poolside and read a little bit.” There is no one here that I know or will run into, so I put on my bathing suit. YIKES! I walk as far as I can away from people. I’m wearing a bathing suit cover from the top of my neck to my ankles. I take off my wrap and quickly lie down on the lounge chair. But just in case (any of these strangers) see my tummy roll, I have a towel draped around my middle. “How ridiculous do I look?” I think. I’m not enjoying reading anymore, because now I’m all caught up in making sure I’m not showing off any rolls. I get up and put my bathing suit cover back on.

Of course, now I’m really sweating and as I look up from my book I notice a young woman, late twenties/early thirties. She’s about 100 or more pounds overweight. She is wearing a TWO-piece bathing suit (which pretty much covers all of her, but is a two piece). She confidently strides from one end of the pool area to about where I’m sitting on the other end. She is making no attempt to hurry or hide between the chairs. In fact, she’s wearing large gold earrings and a gold colored wide headband. At every step she is saying: “I’m here, I’m OK, l’m feeling and looking good.” Think BO Derek in the movie “Ten”.

You know: She was.
 
So my thought is: How do I get from where I am to where she is – mentally? I don’t know the answer to that. Maybe having been thinner at one point, I know what I look like and feel like both mentally and physically and I miss it. I miss it. I want it back. I know my putting this weight on didn’t happen overnight and I know that getting rid of it won’t happen overnight, but the process of it feels like forever.
 
Having said that, I don’t want to forget or downplay all the good that has happened and all the weight that I’ve already lost. But the picture of that woman will stay with me, because I realized that part of the process is also about feeling comfortable mentally—no matter how you look.
Val
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 03 April 2008 09:19 )  



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