Yolanda Owens has written for I Am Modern (http://www.iammodern.com/finding-a-job-can-feel-like-running-a-marathon.html). The following is an excerpt from her new book which has been chosen by Barnes & Noble as a Rising Star Special Collection.  


There are a lot of similarities between looking for a job and dating, as you put yourself out there for someone to notice you, accept you, and ultimately date/interview/hire you. There’s a getting-to-know-you stage, a stage of evaluating whether you want a second date, and a stage of deciding whether you want a long-term relationship. And like dating, there are some rules of engagement. So before you’re released into the world of job seeking, I’m going to exercise my parental obligation to walk you through the birds and bees of employer dating.

Patience is a virtue. Good relationships take time to develop, so enjoy the dating process. You may experience long-distance relationships, employers who take their time in calling you back or in making decisions on where they want the relationship to go. A relationship with an employer may fizzle after months of dating, or you may find yourself involved with an all-talk and no-action player. In the midst of it all, build your network, learn from your mistakes, and use the stories for small talk at your next function. The right opportunity will come, and your patience will be virtuously rewarded.

One difference between personal relationships and relationships with an employer is that the relationship is not monogamous. In other words, it’s okay to date multiple employers at once before finding “the one.” A matter of fact, it’s encouraged! So take this one opportunity in life to spread yourself around and get to know as many employers as possible before landing your first professional relationship.

It’s okay to flirt in the relationship. There’s no better feeling than having multiple employers interested in you. It’s a stroke to your ego and validates your marketability. So take advantage of the situation if it happens to you. The rule of thumb in the professional world is that it’s best to have another job before leaving your current one. So make sure you don’t burn any bridges with the other employers you “dated” during your job search. Remain in the friend zone and keep the lines of communication open, because you never know when someone from the friend zone may think of you for a new opportunity. Also, employers are notorious bird-doggers. In other words, they like going after candidates who are already taken and performing well, so remember this as you progress through your career.

You will be expected to put out. Employers will be investing a great deal of time, money, and resources to recruit you so they’re expecting you to put out for them in your performance, attitude, and level of professionalism. Be prepared for the interview, arrive on time for any meetings or events planned for you, and take the time to shake hands and kiss babies by meeting with and greeting individuals during the interviews and corresponding events.