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This is the second installment of my blog. And of course, after last Friday’s no-show no snow day (which no doubt left more than a few of you a bit frazzled), I’ve been wondering if anyone actually tried my “chore play” suggestion. Some of you are smirking as you read this, thinking, “Ha. Nice thought, but, um, NO!”
Let’s face it; it’s hard to be wildly romantic once you have kids. It’s simple- there are only so many hours in a day, only two of you, only two hours left after their bedtime before yours (if you’re lucky), and only one reliable babysitter (if you’re luckier still).
There are some serious Romance Roadblocks on the path to bringing sexy back!! If you have a new baby, you might be wondering if you’ll ever have a love life again. You’re probably sleep deprived, too busy to even get to the bathroom, and that long soak in the tub I wrote about last week seems unlikely to happen for another 18 years. Your bedroom may have become a playroom, and that former love nest now resembles a toy store on steroids. Who can flirt with the kids always around? Your kids’ schedules are eating your weekends alive. And every vacation’s a family vacation, where standing in three-hour lines at Disney has replaced cruising hand in hand down a canal in Venice. You’re not exactly packing sexy lingerie for that long weekend away; it’s more likely you’re packing diaper bags and burp bibs.
Before you get lost in an identity crisis and forget your inner diva, you CAN find her again! For some you, she might be right there on the surface. For others, she’s a little more hidden. And some of you will have to track her down three counties away! But she’s there. You might simply need to get out of your head…and into your body! Stop over-thinking things, no matter what you look like, feel like or fear. Too often we let our heads get in the way of our sensuality. Sex is physical. It’s emotional. Sometimes it’s even spiritual. But what it should not be is intellectual! Lock those doubts out of your mind and out of your bedroom!
You’ve heard it before……plan a weekly date night. It really works! Wriggle yourself into something that makes you feel sexy, focus on each other, and ban talk of the kids. If you can’t even remember what you used to talk about before you had kids (!), it’s time to reconnect by chatting about a book you both read, hobbies you shared in your falling-in-love years, that wine tasting you always wanted to go to, or you could reinvent your flirting techniques and whisper all the naughty things you want to try out on each other after you get home.
I’ll pass on more romance enhancing tips in my next blog!
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