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I am a Mediterranean man and I’ve got too many hormones in my body. One of the many side effects of being a Mediterranean man is to lose your hair on your head and gain it in unwanted areas like inside your nose, ears, shoulders, back, throat and your chest all wrapped in one big hair ball.
Hair in your nose and ears, you can deal with. Shave it, pluck it, grab it, etc. You can also shave the hair on your throat. But what do you do with your back and shoulder hair? Nair is one alternative, but it seems that every time you use Nair, it acts as a fertilizer and all the hair comes back with a vengeance.
Recently, I took 6 weeks off in between two jobs. I wanted to stay home, not check the Blackberry for 6 weeks and really empty my mind. I also wanted to pamper myself and try to strategically handle this over growth issue. So I asked my wife what to do about it and she suggested that I go to see Donna at Spa Fusion in Sterling. She made my appointment and paid in advance for the services (thank you honey). I met up with Kelly who is the hair removal specialist. She was great in making me feel human.
First we started with the nose hair removal. Kelly made me lie down on a bed and poured warm wax in my nostrils. Before the wax could harden up in my nostrils, she stuck 2 pieces of wood sticks into the wax in my nose. You feel like your nose is a giant lollipop. I started to breath through my mouth. Kelly waited close to 10 minutes and than she counted to 3, but pulled on 2. Wooden sticks that were in my nose came out and at the tip of them were these balls of wax covered entirely with my nose hair. It was a moment from a Shrek movie. I didn’t know what to do. Do I burn them like candles? Do I eat them? Give them to Fiona as a gesture?
I got up to look at my nose and wow what a difference. Inside my nostrils looked like a baby’s bottom. I felt good and most importantly it did not hurt. It felt more like a pinch.
Kelly then took me to the laser room. I don’t know if you know this, but apparently you cannot laser long hair. You have to shave them. So she shaved my throat and the shoulders. She than made me wear these goggles to protect my eyes and started to laser my throat hair first.
The laser rays cover an area the size of dime. The intensity can be increased or decreased based on your tolerance level or the sensitivity of the area. The laser gun also blows extremely cold air to your skin in order to numb the area being bombarded. I felt the pain in my throat and some parts of my shoulders. I felt no pain in my ears.
The areas lasered were irritated for a week. I first started to notice bald spots. Then I noticed that some the hair turned completely white. As I shaved my throat, I started to notice less and less hair. It seems that my throat will be completely hairless in 2-3 sessions. I will no longer have ingrown hair, ruined shirt collars and unsightly hair on my throat. My shoulder fur is not even growing back. I started to look like a real human. I feel confident. I got my eyes on my back hair now. “Honey, what was Donna’s number again?”
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