"I see your hiney
All nice and shiny
If you don't hide it
I just might bite it
When I see it wiggle
It makes me giggle"

"Have your pants off when I get home, Baby. We've got work to do."

Those were my first words to my hubby when I left my brother's house last night. Ya see, in my family things always come in pairs. My son and nephew are less than a year apart. My daughter and other nephew are eleven days apart. And last night, my brother and sister-in-law informed us that they are expecting.

I came. I saw. I conquered.

Writing this blog has brought about so many eye-opening things to my attention. Sometimes I question what I do- I really put my life out there. Every time I think about quitting, I realize I have made some of the best friends through this blog- and eventhough I'm the one writing, it's really my readers that are actually teaching and encouraging me.

Vacation. We're headed out again! Thanks to good ole' hotel points, we are headed to Rehoboth Beach and Ocean City for the week. Ocean Shitty isn't so shitty if you stay at the Hilton and enjoy the water park. If you see a crazy mom taking her three-year old daughter down the huge water slide on the webcam- Yeah, that would be me.

The hubz and I are great at being active parents. We are do-ers and like to be on the go. We're great at crunching numbers and being able to pull vacations out of our arse. I'm always doing things with the kids... BUT... I'm horrible at being a proactive mama. Ya know, I'm not the mom that is super prepared with packed fresh cut apples sprinkled with cinnamon and tin water bottles. I'm more the, "Let's get dippin' dots from the snack bar, or swing my car through the McDonald's drive-thru kind of mom." And I'm on a mission to change that.

I'm about to do the unthinkable.

First, let me say that I really do love my mother-in-law. She is so sweet and would do anything for us. But with that being said, things sometimes can just be different with a MIL. Sometimes it's best to keep quiet. I know she bites her tongue when she sees me out shopping or househunting for the 10th time resulting in yet another move, and I just keep my mouth quiet on certain issues. I'll leave it at that. But all the while, I'm a lucky girl- and lucky that I ended up with the MIL that I have.

My mind never stops. I'm a list girl- and my lists never seem to end. I have notebooks for house projects, children's clothing, honey-do lists, and things to do/vacations to take...

After a month and a half of craziness in our lives, we ended our hiatus from church and returned to a Sunday service... and it was just what the doctor had ordered. But just as normal, during the service, my mind was racing. I remember leaning over and asking my hubby things like, "Did you remember to take off for the first day of school?" To which he replied Yes, but for another reason- to recover from the Virginia Tech season football opener. Nice. I kept reading through the bulletin and was so excited to see that they need donations of children's books for a D.C. school. Score! Now there's an opportunity for us- it won't cost money, my kids can help pick books out for kids that don't have any, and I get to organize our small library of children's books. Talk about a win-win situation. I then saw that they still need nursery help and I haven't volunteered this summer- so add that to my to-do list. And before you knew it, I heard the service leader end The Word Read. She had finished reading the Sunday scripture/lesson and I had missed every word of it. I had completely checked out... I mean what was the point of putting on my Sunday's best and hurrying my kids out the door?

So, I have yet another wack idea. I need support, and I've coughed up more than my fair share of money at weight loss meetings and have decided... What if we form a "Knockout Mama" weight loss support group?

Justin Kavanaugh, my personal trainer, is on board and I have a location to hold this thing at... now I just need other ladies (and men if ya want- but NO, this is NOT a meat market) that want to join in...

I'm on Team Kate. I hate to admit it, but I love Kate Gosselin. Sure, she's a bitch, super controlling, self-centered, stern, and possesses tons of other negative qualities- but I happen to like her. Before she shot to superstardom, she was a mom that I could relate to oh so well. She battled weight issues, couldn't find the time to shower, and was backed up on laundry. She was real.

An all-new season of The Real Housewives is about to start up and it just happens to take place within a stone's throw of where I live- in Washington D.C.... When I read the bio's of these ladies, I was impressed. You know, they hob nob with the wealthy, help mayors campaign, and attend balls and galas. I don't disagree- it makes for great entertainment and more than likely, I'll tune in, but I can't say that I can relate to these hooches.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall... I am becoming my mother afterall. I catch myself doing things all the time that I said I would NEVER do! Ya know, like spitting on my finger and then using it to clean my daughter's face. Or having a hissy fit when shoes are left out for me to put away. I now totally get why she would fuss when we'd leave our shoes out and not in the closet which was a mere two inches away. Being that I am morphing into my mom on my own, this week I actually tried to be her...

Let me be real with you guys... During the last month and a half of moving, being homeless, vacationing, and getting settled, I totally resorted to old habits and turned to food for comfort. I wasn't able to make it to LA Boxing because we've been busy packing, repacking, and getting settled. And I know I've probably lost half of my readership because, well, I suck. I'm just going to put it out there... The Knockout Mama lost by a knockout and I've gained back 17 of the 20 pounds that I lost. Yep, you read that right... I singlehandedly managed to gain back 17 pounds in a month and a half. It sucks. But what can I say- life got in the way.