I'm not doing it this year. I spent hours searching etsy for the perfect Christmas decorations. That's hours of my life gone. Precious moments that could have been memories, and instead, I sat on my butt drooling over other women's craftiness. If I had my way, my son would have a tree in his room, my daughter would have a pink one in hers, and we'd have a few more scattered around the house. I'm quite OK with a home that looks like it threw up Christmas... in a Williamsburgy kind of way... But all of that costs money, and so this year, those things will have to wait. I've decided that that's not what Christmas is all about, and after wasting gobs of money on fresh greens that I hung way too early that are now driving me crazy by shedding over my entire house- Seriously- how do those pine needles make it to my master bath?... I've come to the conclusion that my family isn't going to have a better holiday if there are ten trees compared to one. And sometimes... Less is more.

Things happen for reasons. Recently I had the opportunity to interview Tori Nelson for an upcoming issue of I Am Modern magazine, and this lady is contagious. Her attitude, faith, work ethic, and outlook on life are inspiring... and quite frankly, she has given me reason to believe this holiday season.

Suzanne Vann. It kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it? In our dream world, that's our pen name. We, being my best friend, Ash, and I. It's actually both of our middle names... Our dream is to one day live at the beach for a summer and spend our days writing a novel. For some reason, I think that is years away considering we'd have four kids throwing sand within two minutes if we ignored them at this point in our lives. But one day, when we're old and gray, it will happen.

Ashley is a southern gal to a tee. And I'm just a flake with a dirty mind, so I would like to believe our book could be quite a read. Think Scarlett meets Rhett in the modern world with a twist of V.C. Andrews soft porn. *Parents- Don't applaud your children for reading just any chapter book. To this day, I don't think our mamas really knew what good ole' V.C. was teaching us.

Thirty. He would have been the big 3-0 today. And I've felt guilty about it all afternoon. First of all, I wouldn't have remembered that today was his birthday. Fail. I'm horrible with birthdays, but not a year goes by that I don't remember the date of the crash, or the day he passed. It's crazy how in life we always remember the bad stuff. And all day long, I have dodged the subject with my B-F-F- probably because after 15 years it's still too raw for us to talk about- either that or I'm way too emotional and she hides her feelings all too well and it just makes for one big hot mess.

Déjà Vu. The older I get its happening more and more... Seventeen years ago, I woke up on Thanksgiving morning and joined the other kids from my youth group to work the first Annual Ashburn Farm 10k Run. Back then, the money didn't go to the Humble place in Uganda, but it went to the youth of the church... In other words, our broke a$$ fifteen member strong youth group. Times were different then- We'd meet and pile into a youth leader's 4-runner and go "four wheeling" through the construction sites of Ashburn Farms. We would have car washes and do cartwheels down Route 7 to get people to stop- as in busy Route 7. We would have lock-ins where the cops were called because we were pillow-fighting outside at three in the morning. We turned my parent's barn into a haunted house to raise money. That was the night I was introduced to my best friend Ashley by the pastor's wife. I saw Ash as the obnoxious, loud, new southern girl in my social studies class. Who knew that after a night where my head was stuck through a cardboard box and she was the witch that took the pot off my head saying, "Look what's for dinner" that we'd be besties for life... But that's what youth group did. It brought a group of kids together to make lifelong memories. It was a place where people from all different cliques could come together as one. I can honestly say that I didn't learn much scripture... and to this day I love reading bible stories to my children because I'm learning the stories along with my kids... But youth group taught me more than anything. Now granted, 90% of the time I might have been there for all the wrong reasons... or so that I could go on the annual ski trip- and truth be told, I probably only showed up early in the morning to hang out with the boys instead of truly volunteering… but looking back, youth group gave me lifelong friendships. And to this day I even look up to some of my old counselors. And that Thanksgiving morning (along with countless other youth group memories) was a morning I'll always remember.